A Day for Contemplation

Yesterday was a very sad day for the family and friends of Emmanuel Benedict. Emmanuel (age 4) was awaiting burial after leaving this life the previous day. A beautiful little boy and the youngest of five, Emmanuel died from encephalitis. He had been in the NICU unit of a good (by Indonesian standards anyway) hospital in a medically induced sleep for about 60 days. Every time the doctors allowed him to wake, he would experience seizures. Though I had only seen Emmanuel once when he came to Bible study with his mother, there was no way not to be impacted by the sad news when we arrived at Ingrid's house yesterday morning.

Our group has been studying Linda Dillow’s book “Lord, Calm My Anxious Heart” and our lesson yesterday happened to be about trusting God - even when we don’t understand. We were reminded of God's sovereignty and how He controls all things, even the things that seem so “wrong” from our perspective. We talked about how walking by faith (in God and in His word) is different from walking by our feelings. To quote the book’s author, “Faith looks to God, but feelings look to what is going on around us." Faith hopes in who God is and in what He has promised. It sometimes feels like we are walking in darkness (what we cannot see). Of course we prefer to see what God is doing and how He is working everything together for good. But there would be no need for faith if we could always see and figure it out.

Linda went on to say “We say we want more faith, but really what we want is sight.” Sight says, “I see that it’s good for me, so God must have sent it,” but faith says “God sent it, so it must be good for me.” God asks us to walk by faith, not by sight. Faith is walking in the dark with God, holding His hand. God doesn’t keep us immune from trouble. Rather he says “I will be with you in trouble.” She goes on to say “Yes, faith is difficult, but our faith pleases our Holy God (Heb. 11:6) and we do not walk the path alone. Our wise, sovereign, loving Lord walks with us.”

I was so very thankful that these thoughts were still fresh in my mind when I rode with Marcia after the study to see Emmanuel’s mother. Normally I would not have gone there but it was not convenient for her to take me to the apartment first. As we approached the area where the visitation was being held, many huge flower boards lined each side of the walkway. Inside there was a good number of mourners surrounded by floral arrangements (all white). There was also a beautiful photograph of the little boy with candles and flowers in the casket room.

Emmanuel means "God With Us"

I won’t share anything beyond that because it is hard to even think about and it is not an image I want to leave in your mind. I’m not sure that I’ve ever seen a child in a casket before, or perhaps once many years ago. It is not something I really want to remember. I snapped this one photo with my phone and I'm not even sure why I did. I hope it doesn't seem too morbid for me to post it here.

Even though I didn’t know Emmanuel or his parents, I expressed genuine sorrow for their pain and promised to pray for them. I’m not sure there is anything harder than a parent losing a dearly loved child. Please pray for little Emmanuel’s family as they walk through this dark time. May God increase their faith in Him and give them a peace that only He can give.

card given guests at sign in registry

The first part of the card expresses appreciation for the “moral and material aid bestowed upon the deceased during his lifetime to the time of death.” In the lower left is John 11:25 where Jesus said “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.” This we believe, and as we left we reminded each other that as believers, we have the certain hope that Emmanuel’s parents will one day see him again. 1 Cor. 15:57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!