Just Between Friends

BFF's

Cultural differences are really quite interesting. For example, something Americans might not consider rude at all might be interpreted as very rude to Indonesians. As I've mentioned previously, one of the first things we had to learn to do here was point with our thumbs because pointing with any other finger is considered rude or vulgar. It's awkward and weird looking to us, but we have learned to do this so as not to offend.

Here's another one. In the US, if two males or two females show signs of physical affection in public, they are immediately looked upon as homosexual. However, in Indonesia, holding hands or walking arm in arm in public with a member of the same sex is quite common and people do not appear to be self conscious about it in the least. I observe this in all ages - children, teens, even men and women, although probably less often with men than women. My friend Marcia who has lived here since  '89 tells me that it means absolutely nothing - except that they are good friends. How refreshing!

women holding hands

very common sight among young boys

However, I've read that public displays of affection (between persons of the opposite sex) are very frowned upon here, as are public displays of anger. I've not personally observed either one but Ronnie  was witness to one angry encounter. Still, they are noticeably rare which is really quite amazing when one considers what their traffic is like! We Americans could take some lessons from the Indonesians on both counts. And I might as well add modesty to the list while I'm at it. Of course their rules for dressing are strictly regulated by their Muslim belief system, but I do think there is something to be said for a little more modesty. NO, I'm not advocating covering the body from head to toe, but showing a little less skin (girls) and pulling up pants (guys) could be a good thing on many levels. HA!

As you may have guessed, most of the women's clothes that are sold in the stores here are designed and manufactured for women who are adhering to strict dress codes. For example, the woman (above right) is not in adherence because her blouse is sleeveless and it does not fall below the hips.

teenage guys - just friends

It's nice to know there is no "meaning" behind women/women and men/men friendships beyond the friendship itself. Touching need not be interpreted within a sexual context. Two men or boys, one with arm around the other or two women holding hands or walking arm in arm simply means that they are good friends enjoying each others company. Nothing more. Nothing less. I like that.